The manipulative narcissist engages in moral sabotage, systematically dismantling the victim's reputation and credibility so that when the victim finally speaks out, their truth is met with disbelief. This backstabbing and smear campaign follows the initial charm offensive, a calculated move by the narcissist. They know the relationship with their victim has an expiration date, so they preemptively orchestrate an escape plan that shifts the blame and ensures their own escape, leaving the victim discredited and isolated.
Narcissists often escape accountability for their psychological warfare, leaving their victims with shattered self-esteem, minds, and spirits. Their agenda is clear: extract everything they can from their victim and then leave them in ruins. Whether through bullying, slander, or emotional abuse, these actions should be considered criminal. Yet, narcissists continue their destructive behavior throughout their lives. How do they avoid consequences? It starts with the narcissist's awareness of the extreme harm they inflict. To protect themselves, they meticulously plan ways to avoid exposure, their greatest fear.
The narcissist's grand strategy involves discrediting the victim in advance. It doesn't take a genius to realize that if you want to get away with abuse, you first disarm the victim by launching a preemptive strike on their character. This ensures that when the victim finally speaks out, their accusations are dismissed as unbelievable. The narcissist follows a simple yet effective formula: abuse the victim and then accuse them of the very same atrocities the narcissist has committed. By doing so, they create confusion and prevent the truth from emerging. From the moment the victim meets the narcissist, they are being set up for this cycle of abuse, distracted by love-bombing and trust-building while the narcissist builds their army of enablers.
People are often quick to believe the narcissist's lies. The more outrageous the accusations, the more people are inclined to accept them, simply because the narcissist got there first with their poison. It's akin to a situation where a child makes an accusation of abuse; the gravity of the claim compels people to believe it initially to uncover the truth. The narcissist manipulates this instinct, exploiting the empathy of others to reinforce their lies.
The narcissist's campaign of moral chaos doesn't just harm the victim's reputation; it drags them into a nightmare where they are accused of being the abuser. This adds a layer of cruelty, leaving the victim defenseless and doubly victimized. The narcissist uses their intimate knowledge of the victim to craft smear campaigns laced with distorted truths, making the lies more believable to outsiders.
What the narcissist sets in motion is a pathological process of dehumanizing and maligning their victim behind their back, all while maintaining a facade of friendliness and care. This behavior places narcissists in a category alongside psychopaths, as they exhibit a complete lack of concern for the well-being of others. They are predators, driven by delusion, psychopathy, and abuse, posing a serious threat to those around them. It's vital to recognize that narcissists are predators, though many fail to grasp the severity of their abuse, dismissing it as inconsequential.
A look into a narcissist's past often reveals a trail of destruction and sudden disruptions in their life, which they will always attribute to others while making endless excuses. The reality is that the narcissist fled when their previous victims began to piece together the truth, exposed their deceit, and confronted them. Narcissists go to great lengths to keep their past hidden from their current and future lives. It's crucial not to remain silent about this abuse, as too many people, including their own children and family members, have suffered at their hands. Bringing their actions into the light and holding them accountable is the only way to stop their abuse or force them to flee.
The best response to their madness is to cut off contact entirely. Unfortunately, when you have children with a narcissist, the possibility of no-contact is very difficult. Grey Rock Communications is the closest you can get to no-contact co-parenting in a post-divorce life with a narcissist.